Hearing, listening, and obeying

So in case you didn't know, outreach in YWAM Mazatlan is not like other bases because the school has a few different options. The best part is that the people on staff here don't tell the students what the options are until after we get here because we are supposed to pray about it, hear from God, and then obey. Well, the mystery is now over. I know exactly where I am going....let me tell you about the answer I got.

I went up to my favorite spot here on the base-the rooftop. As I sat down to pray, I gazed out at one of God's most beautiful creations-the ocean. I have always been attracted to the ocean ever since I was a little girl. I know God told me to come here to YWAM Mazatlan partly because the beach is right across the street. Plus, I don't have to be afraid to go in because sharks are rare (which happens to be one of my biggest fears-Yikes!) 

I slowly closed my eyes and asked God to speak to me about where he wanted me to go for outreach. As I did so, his reply was very quick and very clear...and exactly what I didn't want to hear. What I expected to hear were the words "Nicaragua" or "Costa Rica". Instead, I got "Mexico City, Mexico City, Mexico City!!!" I opened my eyes and looked around distractedly. "Maybe that was me. I am trying to NOT go there. Maybe I was trying so hard not to think that in my head that I automatically thought it anyways." After a few more distracted moments, I closed my eyes. "Okay God, lets try it again....please just say Costa Rica and we can be done" But it was no use. "Mexico City, Mexico City, Mexico City!!!" 

I could feel myself resisting. I really wanted to get farther than Mexico, to go somewhere exciting and new. This is the third time I have been to Mexico in my life and it's the only foreign country I have EVER been to. And then God started speaking again. There was a very wise teaching this last week about how my generation tends to love staying on the mountaintop. In other words, we LOVE being in a spot that gives us that really exhilarating feeling (whether it's a physical location or spiritual experience), but we tend to resist the valleys. The thing is, the suffering and hurting people are mostly in the valleys, where Jesus is needed the most! So when I was praying that day on the rooftop, high enough to see the city and overlook the ocean, God was calling me to come down in more than one way. First, I had to set aside my pride of wanting to be able to tell people I had traveled all throughout Central America. Secondly, I had to be willing to surrender my burning desire to be on the mountaintop and instead, go to the valley. God spoke the following: "You know that mountaintop you like to be on Darla? Well, Central America is a mountaintop to you. I am calling you to the valley, which doesn't look as attractive to you. But you know what? It is one of the most densely populated cities in the world. That is where I want you. Trust me. I know what I am doing" 

It was hard to hear this, but I was reminded of a verse I really love from Isaiah 55: 8-9:

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.

How could I question the almighty God? He had made his voice clear to me. The thought that comes to my mind is that a dense population means there will be a lot of disease and ailments I could pray for. So perhaps God wants to give me lots of opportunities for that! Guess I will find out.

So I am going somewhere that I would have never chosen on my own accord, but I know it will be good. By the way, have been meaning to post some pictures. I will probably have some up in a few days when I get a chance. Keep following and feel free to ask questions. Blessings friends!

Knowing God and Making Him Known......

I am beginning to witness an extreme perspective change inside of me. God has been meeting me more and more as I get to know who He is and what it really means to have a relationship with Him. Remember how I went out to the beach that one day and was going to ask God about things on my heart? I am slowly beginning to realize what an immature approach that has been in my life! The truth is, God speaks-He speaks very clearly. But in order to hear Him, I have to have a perspective in which his voice can penetrate my heart. It's not about me....it never has been. No, it's about relationship with the God of the universe. It's about knowing Him, abiding in Him, allowing Him to really lead me in this life. I have a purpose and calling that was created specifically for me...whether or not it gets carried out depends on how well I am listening...

For now, that calling is missionary work. As I think of the possibilities of what could occur for the next six months if I am listening and obeying God, feelings of intense joy and freedom bubble up from deep inside of me. Just last Saturday, our school climbed the second highest lighthouse in the world here in Mazatlan to pray with the local church, amor y libertad (freedom and liberty). Our focus was on praying out over the city that lay down before us.....as our prayers rained down on the city of Mazatlan, we became one body. It was no longer just "their" city. It was OUR city, with all the violence, prostitution, drug-trafficking, and hurting people in it. I think it is easy to stay in the mentality that I am just here for six months, that Mexico is not my own country, and that this culture is not my own. But the reality is, God brought me here at this time for a certain purpose, and therefore, IT IS my country.....God wants to reveal what is on his heart about His people here in Mexico. Pretty exciting stuff!!!    

God started opening up my eyes to these people yesterday when our team went out to a local town. As we turned off of the main road and proceeded to travel down a dirt road, I saw the immense simplicity in which these people live. The houses only contained maybe 20-30 square feet inside and were made of broken down pieces of wood. The roofs were simple sheets of rusty tin laid across the top. Trash was everywhere on the side of the road. It was in this very broken down town where our team found a bunch of children playing in their usual spot-a wide open space of dusty earth baking under the intense heat of the sun. We went out and played a game of soccer. I don't really play a lot of sports, but soccer is one of the ones I really like. As I was guarding my teams' goal, I suddenly felt a small hand grab mine. I looked down to see a beautiful little Mexican girl, probably about nine years old. She was so excited that we had come to play with them, and as I was the only other girl playing, we clicked right away. It didn't really matter that I speak very little Spanish. I was able to tell her, "Tu pello es muy bonito!", which means "your hair is very beautiful". She beamed. She had the most gorgeous long, brown hair. 

A little boy of about five kept attempting to ride his bike across the field during the game, but tipped over after only getting a few feet along. Some of my friends soon caught on and strolled him along in his bike for a "free ride". Another little girl kept tickling me and my friends, giggling excitedly. 

Afterwards, my friend Alejandro from Mexico City told the children about Jesus and led about 7-8 to the Lord. It took just one simple soccer game to bring all these young people into God's kingdom! It didn't matter that they lived in what the US would rate as "lower than poverty" homes or that some of them didn't even own homes. They had just gained the greatest treasure in the world that could never be snatched away from them. 

Beside this, I have really been soaking up what I am learning in my classes...I keep laughing internally about the content of each lecture because I can totally see how God has already taught me a lot of this in my own life since I lost my job. Even the order of the lectures is the same-first, God showed me humility, then giving up idols, then walking in more faith....all three of those topics came up this week in that exact order. I love it when God confirms things like that! Until next time......

Ministry and evangelism....

Today was the first day the YWAM group went out to do street evangelism. We split off into groups in the city plaza. I went off with one of the staff members and the one classmate I have from England. We talked to a Mexican guy named Ricardo who was trying to sell us something. We told him that we are from a missionary school nearby. I had the opportunity to pray for him. Luckily, he could speak English pretty well, so he understood what I said, haha! Laura, the staff member, told me that a lot of people actually do believe in God, but they just don't know which one. That is pretty much how Ricardo put it.
Afterwards, we continued down the street and encountered a woman sitting on the sidewalk with her two children. Laura introduced Becky and I and then we went and bought them a family meal from Burger King. I wasn't able to do as much as I desired....it would have been cool if I could actually speak Spanish. I will be working on that-I now have a free membership online that will teach me Spanish. My plan is to be able to at least have a descent conversation in the next few months...
There are a few really awesome ministries my school offers. One is called Remnant, an evangelistic ministry that reaches out to skater youth. Basically, one of the staff members here hangs out with a group of skater kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Our base offers mobile ramps because there is no skate park here in Mazatlan.
Another ministry here is called Homes of Hope, which builds homes for families in need. There are so many families who literally live out of homes built from scraps of material that were just laying around. Many haven't even owned a key before because they never had a door on their homes to unlock. This ministry partners with local pastors and then disciples people who have been reached through Homes of Hope. I will have the opportunity to build a home with my team at the end of my outreach. Can't wait!!!
A third ministry that I am particularly excited about is called The Red Zone. Basically, there is a section of Mazatlan that is full of darkness and in need of radical transformations. This zone is saturated with drug trafficking, violence and prostitution. It has become particularly dangerous in the last few years, due to the drug violence that has exploded in Mexico. People get shot there on a regular basis. There is no stopping the violence by law enforcement either. It is not an uncommon thing for a mother to tell about how her own son was shot just last week and point out the man walking down the street who did it. These people live in so much oppression. I will be praying about going out into this area, as the staff here feel strongly that I would need a very firm word from God that it is okay to go. It is not a safe ministry, so whenever the staff go out with some students, there is a group of people who stay behind, covering them in prayer. Still, someone needs to be willing to step out and reach these people. If missionary work was only done in safe areas, the people who are the most oppressed and in need of light would never experience the love of God: "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Isaiah 52:7

Well, that's it for now! More will follow....be praying I have direction on where to do my outreach. We should be finding out next week what the options are. Blessings friends!

Listening at the beach

So I went out to take a walk by the beach today, just before dinner. My plan was to have a discussion with God about the mental prayer list I have. I walked a few blocks west of the base and found a section of the beach that had rocks stretching out into the sea. Huge and powerful waves came rushing in to crash over the rocks, raining down giant drops of foamy-white water. I estimated about how far I could walk out without getting rained on, based on how the water was falling. When I reached the designated spot and looked out towards the sunset, I could only stand in silence. My plan was to talk to God...but I couldn't. Something inside paralyzed me to be still and breathe it all in. Before me stood an ocean full of powerful waves coming to their breaking points just a few feet in front of me. Pelicans were flying this way and that, sometimes gliding slowly, sometimes swiftly dipping straight down into the ocean for their prey. The sun was hiding behind clouds, but the reflection of light manifested itself with streaks of bright, orange-red colors across the horizon. How could I do anything BUT take this in? To think or speak or talk would be like ignoring a beautiful and rare treasure. I was led to pray, but this time, God did all the talking...here is what I heard:
"I am majestic and powerful. See this before you? See the mighty waves crashing down in front of you and the water rushing out from underneath you? This picture right before you is a mere fraction of who I am. Stop. Be still. Explore me, Darla. Explore who I am, what my beauty is like. Think on my creation. Think about the twinkling stars in the night, the glorious rushing of water falls, the variety of creatures in Africa, the huge, snow-peaked mountains. All of this I created-you can never contain me, never fully understand me. For my thoughts are higher than your thoughts, my ways are much higher than your ways. Quit trying to figure out your life, what your future holds. For I knew every day set out for you from the moment you were conceived. Not one of yours has been hidden from me. It's okay to dream, but I want you here right now, to not think ahead just yet. When you do, you tend to worry and that is not what I want for you. For I know the plans I have for you, to give you hope and a future. I have big plans for you, but you have to trust me. Explore me and rest in me for now. Then it will all make sense afterwards. I am going to give you a perspective change, to let you perceive things out of reverent awe of my character. For fear of who I am is the beginning of all wisdom. Stop thinking and simply rest. Don't try to figure out the outcome of the things I am asking you to give up. For I have made everything beautiful in its own time"
The mixture of scripture in there was incredible. I walked away completely awe-struck, knowing exactly what I needed to do. My assignment for now is to explore God, not to come to him with a wish list. Simple as that.

My arrival to Mazatlan!!!

I flew out of the San Francisco airport two days ago at 7:30 a.m. in the morning, just as the suns' rays began to peak over the horizon. As I climbed in altitude, it's as if I had entered heaven itself. A huge blanket of snowy-white clouds completely covered the surface of the earth. Bright streams of pink and gold spread out towards me, coloring the sky with rays of light. I was about to be taken on an adventure with God that would change me for the rest of my life.

Mazatlan is a beautiful city-the ocean is literally right across from the YWAM base! I am excited to spend at least the next three months here. As far as outreach goes, I do not find out the possibilities until much later...so pray about guidance on that! My group is fairly small. There are 15 students here, 4 of whom are still on their way. The countries represented here include England, Finland, America, Mexico, Denmark, Canada, and Argentina. I have been enjoying the dynamics of all the different personalities and cultures! 

One of my classmates has dread locks, a beard, and a tattoo of Bible verses that stretches across his back and continues on down the circumference of his right arm. It says the following: "I am the alpha and omega. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. He made him who had no sin to become sin for us so that in Him, we may become the righteousness of God. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. But God raised Him from the dead. It is impossible for death to keep its hold on Him. Just as Christ is raised from the dead, you too may live a new life. Count yourselves dead to sin but alive in Christ Jesus. Where o death is your victory? Where o death is your sting? The power of death is sin, but thanks be to God. He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Behold, I am coming soon! Come Lord Jesus" 

He sort of reminds me of David Crowder...he even plays the guitar and has a similar voice! Pretty cool....

We had worship for the first time this morning. A Mexican was leading "Blessed be Your Name" in Spanish, while those of us who speak English sang our version simultaneously. The words simply flowed together, melting all cultural barriers to be united as one in Christ! 

That song spoke to me personally today. I have really been experiencing God taking things away from me that causes temporary pain...but he keeps on replacing those things with even greater gifts. It is becoming easier and easier to give things over to God because I know he has something even greater planned. I am excited to see what he has in store for me next! 

How I got here and where I am going...

Just six months ago, I was working as a registered nurse in a local ICU down in Long Beach, California. I had just finished a very intense nursing school and graduated August 2009.  I was under a contract to work at a hospital that had helped fund my schooling. They had given me money for two years and my end of the deal was to work for their facility for two years after graduation.

How exactly did I go all they way from working as an ICU nurse to becoming a missionary within just six months? It has been a process....let me tell you!

It turns out that God had very different plans for me. Through a series of sudden events, I quit my job in Long Beach after working there for only nine months, completely debt free. I moved back to my hometown in Grass Valley last September, expecting to look for a job as soon as I got home.

It was not long after that when I prayed to God about what he wanted me to do-I felt him saying, "Pursue! Pursue SOMETHING whole-heartedly" ...not exactly very specific instructions.

So I looked online for jobs...believing God simply wanted me to chase after SOMETHING. After much contemplation and conversing with God, I quickly realized the emphasis wasn't on the "something part". It was actually on the "whole-heartedly part". I felt God tugging  me to pursue a dream He had planted inside me when I was about 12 years old-missionary work. I am now 23 years old and am about to see this ambition of mine become a reality.

About a  month earlier, shortly before I moved back home, my younger brother Ben had mentioned YWAM (youth with a mission) and how all the cards had been set out before me. I had some money set aside and there were no obligations tying me down at the time. After a lot of prayer and listening, God confirmed over and over that I needed to sign up for YWAM Mazatlan.

In order to reach such a decision, God has really needed to work on several heart issues of mine. I see three specific themes he has been teaching me. The first is humility-I had to allow him to break me down and smash those areas of my life that were inhibiting Him from moving. God was molding my heart, but it took a lot of surrendering. Once I consciously told God to take all of me and do what he wanted, he started asking for all the idols in my life. One of those idols was my nursing career-I had reached a place where I had a lot of pride in my job. God wanted to melt that out of me...and he did! I have seen God take idol after idol since then as I handed them over to Him. It kind of seems like the idols are getting bigger. That being said, I am finding it easier to hand each one over to him as they come along....it can be very scary at times because I don't know what God is doing most of the time. I simply have to step out and trust him...which brings me to the last theme-faith! I can see how God is strengthening my faith as a result of giving up those things that take his place in my life. And as I do, he showers me with way more then I expected!

In two and a half days, I am about to embark on a life-changing adventure. My plane is going to arrive in Mazatlan, Mexico around 2 p.m. on January ninth. Some very intense training will then follow starting January tenth for the next three months. I feel waves of excitement rushing over me as the clock ticks, moving ever so closely to the count down....more adventures will follow shortly. I will post more shortly after I arrive, I promise!