The Greatest Miracle of All

It has already been over a month since my last blog...I have been learning so many amazing things about God this last month-the Holy Spirit, Worship, and Spiritual Warfare are a  few of the weekly topics that have given me more and more revelation of who God is and what I was originally designed for by my Creator.

I will be going on outreach to Mexico City the day after tomorrow. After spending four weeks there, our team will head out to Chiapas....I am not planning on bringing my laptop with me, which means this will be my last blog until I return to Mazatlan on June 12th.

God has faithfully provided finances for every single person in my school...some received amazing provision of thousands of dollars in just one day, while others got it bit by bit. God has been faithful in providing and also in stirring people within the school to give. I can testify that those who are faithful with little will be given even more. I know that some of the students had received an abundance of money because God trusted them to give to those in need-and they did! I organized a group of students to pray on Tuesday at 7: 30 a.m. During that time, God gave us a scripture to encourage those who still needed money: "Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give it according to what you have, not what you don't have. Of course, I don't mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean that there should be some equality. Right now, you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal" (2 Corinthians 8: 12-14). I have gone from having just the right amount of money for the entire school...to giving a lot away...to fundraising and getting support from friends...and then back to having an overabundance...and finally, giving a lot more away so that I now have enough, but not too much. It is encouraging to see how God keeps giving me the ability to bless others financially while still providing every little thing I need as well. God is soooo Good!!!! (yes, that was a capital G!!!!)

Before I came to YWAM Mazatlan, God was speaking very clearly to me about abiding in Him and being a light to the world. Back then, I didn't really know what God was saying...was there something I was doing wrong? From my own perspective, I didn't understand why God seemed to be speaking so loudly about abiding in Him and bearing good fruit-after all, I couldn't see any obvious things in my life that would be reflecting bad fruit....
Through all of my experiences here during these first three months, the meaning of this has been getting clearer and clearer. The passage in John 15 is all about abiding in God so that my actions will speak loudly to the rest of the world about the love of God. Abiding in God means allowing myself to be pruned, to be broken, to be completely surrendered to Him. Why in the world would someone want to do this? After all, in order to love others, we have to first love ourselves....right? Why should we be broken? Why should we have to give things up that are important to us? Why should I have to surrender EVERYTHING?
If someone asked me these questions today, I would smile and shake my head at them.....because we are actually not supposed to be loving ourselves first. We need to get a correct perspective of ourselves, not moving in inferiority or superiority. But if anything, I have learned that I need to stop thinking about myself so much...because it REALLY isn't about me at all. My life is not about me-it is all about my Creator. He has given me the choice, but in the end, every breathe I take, every move I make, every single thing I do is only because of God. That's it.

The thing is, God is all about love. The last speaker this week, Troy Sherman, had a very different perspective about several things I have been taught my entire life. He brought so many things to the light-I can barely even take it all in, let alone try to write it in one simple blog.
If I were going to say one important thing he taught me, it would actually be a question...."What if love really is the greatest miracle?" I think that people get very fascinated by signs and wonders, like Heidi Baker in Mozambique, who heals the blind and the deaf after praying for them. The thing about all of those signs and wonders is that this is the power of God working through people because of their faith. Yet, it is never them doing it-it is 100 percent God all of the time.
I have realized something even more powerful than this, something that will cause God to look down from heaven, calling all of the angels together to witness this thing that is even greater than a blind man gaining his sight instantly...

It happens when someone decides to forgive a Nazi after killing his family in the holocaust....
Or when despite all of the hurt and suffering a woman has, she decides to praise God in her difficult circumstances....
Or when instead of repaying your enemies for slandering you, you find the gold in them and tell them...

Love is something God lavishes on us and wants us to walk in every single day of our lives. When I pursue God and really strive to know who He is, I get a clearer and clearer picture of what His real character is. I abide in Him and automatically, I end up loving other people. Because if I can't love other people, I need to re-examine my relationship with God. (By the way, love is not a feeling....it requires action and often will go against what we as human beings want to do-take that as food for thought...).

When I decide to love others as I would love myself, that is when God is witnessing His own personal miracle.  Why is this? Because God gave us free will. He actually won't make human being do anything. So when we decide to love someone, especially when it really hurts, that is us blessing God in every way, shape, and form.

I am still on this journey of what it means to abide in God and to bear good fruit as a result. I am not perfect, but because of my love for God, I want to strive for perfection. Nothing else in life or afterwards will ever be able to compare with the love of God...."Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance....Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love". 1 Corinthians 13: 7, 13.
I know that everything I have learned in this school has completely wrecked my incorrect perspective about God, life, and relationships. I can say with complete confidence that up to this point in my life, YWAM is the best thing I have ever done-EVER. I wouldn't trade it for anything because I have found one of God's great treasures-truth. Not only that, but I have seen truth in action.

So as I go out to outreach, I will continue to put what I know about God to practice, to actually live it out, to act in love with every opportunity. Now that I have a greater understanding of God's love, my motivation to share it with the rest of the world is ignited. Please pray that I can win many souls for God's kingdom, that my group will have basic needs provided, and that we will be able to tear down the lies about who God is. Only until people get a better understanding about God's love will they have a real hunger for Him....and that is when the whole world will begin to change.

Talk to you all in June!!!

God's practical economics

I am currently reading this book called "Daring to Live on the Edge" and it talks about how God deals with money. I am learning a lot of really life-changing things about money, both through reading about it and through living it.
I just want to take a moment to praise God for what he has already provided! I have been blessed by three different people already:
1) The first $200 came from my brother Ben before I left for YWAM
2) The second $150 came from a friend I met down here who doesn't actually go to YWAM. She is part of a team of people in charge of a local coffee shop
3) I was recently blessed with another $250 from a friend back home. She doesn't have much, but she still gave, which is such a blessing!!!

As you probably know, I need to raise around another $ 1,400 by April 1st (only three weeks). Where exactly did I get this number from? It's not just something I pulled out of my head. I felt a need to really sit down, think it out, and get a good budget for what exactly I will need. Some of you may be puzzled because the number should have been lower after your donations...and it is!!! Yet, the amount I need for meeting my other basic needs is a bit higher than I originally estimated.
The following is a breakdown of what I will need for each category:

1) First and foremost, I need another $600 to pay for the second part of my school. YWAM had me pay for the first half shortly after I arrived. This is called the lecture phase and I paid that portion quite a while ago.
2) Then I need to pay for basic toiletries for the next three months, which adds up to about $150-$200 for everything for the next four months
3) I could also use some more pens and notebooks for the classes I am taking (as well as learning Spanish), which is another $10-20
4) I have recently been blessed with some second-hand clothing from one of the staff members here, so God provided a lot of my clothing needs for the summer that way. That being said, I could really use some money for shorts/skirts to wear. It gets pretty miserable wearing long pants in the summer heat down in Mexico. Unfortunately, they don't have thrift stores down here, so if I was going to buy another 3-4 pairs of shorts/skirts, it would be around $60-80.
5) I also need to do laundry at a local laundromat because the base can't afford to have students do their laundry here. It costs about $50 a month/4 months=$200. (It adds up fast!)
6) Last on my priority list is transportation/entertainment. Although I can get by without this, it would be nice to have some money set aside for going to dinner with the YWAMers or random adventures. I will leave the amount open because it really depends on how much God provides in all....

So that is a basic outline. I wanted my supporters to know exactly what their money is going towards. I don't take what is given to me lightly-God calls me to be a good steward of the money he blesses me with. I know some will make some pretty big sacrifices in order to support my ministry. The last thing I want to do is abuse that blessing by using the gift carelessly. If you feel led to cover a particular need (such as toiletries), just let me know and I will set the money aside for that particular area. I want to honor those who choose to give and allow you to have some say-so of how it is used if you so desire.
I also want to say that no amount is too small-if you give five dollars, that would allow me to brush my teeth for an entire month or more! That's huge!
I also want to emphasize that this is not about getting money, but about partnering with you in what God is doing here in Mexico and what he will do in Mexico City and Chiapas during my outreach. God has a lot of really cool promises in the Bible for those who give. Here are just a few:
*If you give, you will increase (Proverbs 11:24)
*You will be blessed (Proverbs 22:9)
*You will be great (Isaiah 58:10)
*You will be prosperous (Proverbs 11:25)

*All your needs will be supplied (Phil. 4:19)
*Your Father will repay you (Matt 6:4)
* You will have treasures in heaven (Matt 19:21)

So if you feel led to give, you can do it nonchalantly through the donate button on this blog. If you don't feel comfortable doing this,you can also just let me know you would like to help out and I can provide other ways. (FYI-paypal takes out a certain percentage, so the donate button won't give me the entire amount). That's it for now! I will keep you all updated about how God proves Himself faithful in providing. Can't wait!!!

Experiencing a heart for the lost

The last week here in Mazatlan has been life changing for me. God has revealed how he can work through me in astonishing ways...I am gaining more and more confidence in my God and what he can do through my simple obedience. 

Some of you may know about Carnival. It is held down here in Mazatlan during the first week of March every year. Our base takes advantage of the huge flood of people that comes to Carnival by praying for them and sharing Jesus with them through actions and words. 

There were five different ministry groups that I could choose from. One was the intercession team. Their focus is to keep up 24/7 prayer, which required some very dedicated people to volunteer to pray and stay up during the very early morning hours. This team also had some people go into the actual gates of Carnival, doing anything from evangelism, to worship, to praying for people. What happened through this group was extremely radical and breath-taking! There was one night in particular where several physical healings took place after they prayed!!! Here are just a few of them: 

* one blind guy began to see light and the color blue!!!

* a mute man began speaking!!!

* one man who had pain in his knees started dancing!!!

* an entire band of men who had various joint or muscular ailments were healed and began to move more freely!!!

Those of you who know Tom and Jessy O'Brien were on this team (just to note...they are awesome!) 

Then there was a group of people who ran an outside cafe just outside the gates of Carnival. Their job was to serve people coffee and cookies and talk to people about Jesus. This group was extremely important because it not only opened up the opportunity to engage in deep conversations with people who are hungry for God, but it also was a refuge for people who had just gotten saved and wanted to know more. Many of the evangelists would direct those who accepted Jesus on the streets to this cafe so they could be further blessed with God's presence. 

Another teams was the media team-they are responsible for letting the world know what God did during Carnival because pictures and short films were made available on facebook. They are also the team to thank for the pictures I can now post on this blog....

Last but not least, there were two evangelism teams. One team stayed outside the gates, where it is less crazy. Then there is another team that goes into the gates....which is where it can get dangerous sometimes. I heard about some people getting so drunk that there were a few deaths. Also, the last night is the "husbands night", where they leave their wives at home and go find another woman to sleep with. I won't get into the details, but it gets ugly.....

So I was in the group that goes into the gates of Carnival. Our YWAM group had just gotten done with a week of classes on evangelism and I felt a deep conviction rise up from deep inside me to reach the lost, no matter what the cost is. I recently read this story of people approaching this cliff to fall into eternal darkness, but they were completely blind. They had no idea where they were headed. Only until they actually fell into the eternal pit did they realize what was happening....and it was too late at that point. And all the while, groups of people who could see and knew better than to head for the cliff, just sat in a circle, singing hymns and praising God, turning their eyes away from where all the blind people were headed. They were all there, able to stand in the way and prevent the people from traveling toward the cliff. And sometimes, one person would stand up and try to save another headed for destruction. But then another would say, "oh, its okay. God hasn't given us the signal yet. Lets just sit here and keep praising God for saving us".

The sad thing is, this is a very true story of how people are today. We are too afraid of what people will say to us or think of us if we dare to tell them the gospel. In reality, there is not much a person can do to me in Mexico or in my own country accept for reject me or make fun of me. I just think of the greatest risk-having to actually go to prison or die for the sake of bringing even one more soul to Christ....and it would be worth it.

When I really let what Jesus did on the cross sink into my very soul, it breaks me. Just think about it-if there was even just one person that would believe Jesus died for them on the cross and confess that Jesus is their Lord and savior, He would have still died. Just for that one. That's how much of a treasure each person is to God. So to think about how he must feel when each soul blindly falls into an eternal pit of darkness, where there is great weeping, hopelessness, and pain....because we were to afraid to go tell them the truth. How can they accept the gift if they don't flat out hear the actual message? I think sometimes Christians beat around the bush and don't actually say what Jesus did for them on the cross. They sort of just hope that a word here or there would bring the point across....why not just take the risk of being foolish and tell them the entire thing? It's much more direct that way. 

It is with this conviction that my group went into the gates to tell the lost about the hope they can have in Jesus. There were about five students, some staff members, and a few others who came just for Carnival from other regions. After having a time of worship from seven to nine pm each night, we walked together into the gates and then split up into groups of two. I was always paired with another guy who can speak Spanish fluently. What I saw God do was a major breakthrough for me. I didn't speak Spanish, but I was able to lead several people to God by simply telling the story of what Jesus did for them. I carried some flashcards around that had the gospel in Spanish on it. I also carried a cube around that had pictures about what Jesus did for them. 

I remember seeing quite a few "beer girls" who would wear silver costumes and dance in front of the beer stands. God really called me to talk to them. Being one of only a few women in our evangelism team, it would be easier to get God's love across to them through me because I didn't feel as awkward as some of the guys in our group. I was able to lead about 3-4 of them to God. 

Another time, God convicted me to walk up to a group of six guys all at once. God gave me conviction to walk straight up to them and get their immediate attention. He totally gave me the words to say and I could see I had their interest and attention. The authority I saw myself walking in even took me by surprise...after I shared what Jesus had done, all six of them were saved. As I looked into each one of their eyes and took them in, seeing them as God would, I also saw the conviction that God was placing on them through me. It was amazing....

Another time, there was a drunk guy I helped lead to the Lord. God told me to talk to him about alcoholism and to ask him if this was a particular struggle in his life. He said yes, and I responded with, "God can help you through that. He doesn't want you to fill yourself up with something that leaves you empty like that. He wants to bring deep healing to your life". After I was finished, he through away his beer and went home. 

Sometimes, I would get paired with a translator that pretty much took over. That was good because I prayed silently while he shared Jesus with people....but when I was able to talk, I loved the things God was able to speak through me, even though I don't speak Spanish! One particular night, God was totally on fire inside of me-my translator allowed me to do all the talking, which I absolutely loved! Together, we talked to 51 people and led 33 people to the Lord. 

To be able to worship God in such a way-by telling people who are lost about God's great love for them, is the ultimate way to love Jesus back. Our speaker pointed out how this form of worship is the only form we won't be able to continue after we die. It's only here in this life where we can win souls over for Jesus. 

I had a picture in my mind recently about the pain God has for those who don't ever come to know Him. I see Jesus hanging on the cross, breathing his last breaths of life. He is covered in blood and shame...but also, every demon in hell is pouring out every kind of darkness, anguish, and hopelessness on Him. I picture Him doing all this for me, for you, for them. Although he knows this horrible sacrifice he is making is not in vain for those who accept the gift, it does become a vain thing for those who never hear about it. All I can see is Jesus up on that cross, crying out, weeping, screaming in vain as all those who are blind silently fall over the cliff into eternal darkness, never to be united with Jesus. After all the physical suffering He undergoes, as well as the spiritual darkness He experiences on the cross, the worst torment of all is that He knows some will still not be saved. This is what so many Christians need to realize in order to tell people about Jesus with passion, shaking off all fear of man and simply walking in obedience. 

So that is it in a nutshell! I am now preparing to go on outreach. For those of you who don't know yet, I am going to be spending four weeks in Mexico City and four weeks in Chiapas, another state in Mexico that is close to Central America. This is where I could use your help....I need about another $1,400 dollars to cover the rest of my outreach phase and simple living expenses. Please pray about whether you should give money or not. Those who listen to God and obey by giving play just as much of a role as the actual worker. The truth is, I cannot move forward spreading the glory of God and helping the lost without your help. So please, don't hesitate to give if God has impressed this on your heart to do!!! You are a crucial piece of the puzzle. 

Evangelism in the village!

This last weekend, our YWAM group went out to a village called Apoderado. One of the staff members who works in the kitchen lives in this small village and welcomed us into her home.
Shortly after we arrived, Laura, a staff member, proposed that we go take a walk. I joined a group of about 5-6 YWAMers and we headed out for an adventure. We came across some typical Mexican houses, a few cows, and a really cute little black puppy. Finally, we stopped to introduce ourselves to a mother and her daughter of about 12 years old. What happened was extremely exciting!
As some of you know, I have been working on learning Spanish and have especially been pressing into understanding and speaking this language within the last week. Laura started speaking to them and I was able to understand the underlying conversation. She started telling them about Jesus, how he died for them, and how we can have eternal life with Him after we leave this world if we confess and believe in our hearts that He is the son of God and that he rose from the dead. Then she started to share some of the ways God has shown how real he is in her own life...but they were not receptive. They responded with skepticism. I was right there, praying for the situation, as I can understand but not really speak coherently quite yet (I probably sound like a two year old to most people, haha!)
This last week, I learned a lot about evangelism. One thing I took to heart was that each person has something about them that will open them up to receiving Jesus and that God will often give that to us as we speak out the gospel. So as I sat there listening intently, I began to pray that we would get the key to their hearts. Guess what? We did!
Both of them are Catholic, but hadn't actually received Jesus's gift on the cross. One of our YWAMers from Mexico City was actually raised Catholic as well, so he started speaking to them and they immediately opened up. He could actually relate to what they thought and explained how receiving Jesus is different from simply believing in Him. By the time it was over, they both received Jesus Christ as their savior from their sins.
As I write this, I reflect on what I have learned about evangelism this week and get super excited!! Jesus has a furious, jealous love for each one of us and desires a personal relationship with everyone!!! Just thinking about how many don't have this but could if I step out boldly, getting out of my comfort zone and being willing to tell people what God has done in my life is extremely powerful. It all goes back to having an intimate relationship with God. As I come to know Him and his character, I will begin to see all of His personal treasures (the human beings that God created) the way he does and won't be able to help but grab them for God's kingdom. There is no higher calling in this life than to win souls for Jesus! It is the only form of worship I won't be able to do for God after I die....so the time is now.

And that's not all that happened this weekend! We were working with a group of evangelists from another church called lighthouse. Today, we split off into three groups to do some skits for the villagers, inviting them to take a short break from what they were doing so we could share Jesus with them. One of the groups (not the one I was in) saw a crippled man who was also mute. They stopped to pray for him while they were going on their way to see what God would do. Apparently, this man had pain in his legs and hadn't walked since he was very young. After they prayed for him, they asked the man if he had pain...and he was able to say no! So there was the first thing-a mute man spoke and said he had been healed from the pain. Once this happened, they got excited and decided to pray for him again. This time, the man was able to stand up! With intense joy, he danced over to people, showing them the miracle God had just performed through these evangelists! The story ends with him accepting Jesus as his personal savior-the greatest miracle of it all!!!!

So that was my weekend. There is much more to come-a huge fiesta called Carnival is coming up for the next two weeks and will be very busy for me. Please pray for endurance, for a huge harvest of souls, and for me to really press into God and hear his voice clearly. I long to share Jesus with as many as possible and see a great   harvest of souls for God's kingdom.

Dying to my rights....

dying to my rights

I am finally almost over a very strange and unfriendly disease I had for the last week...and can actually update the world again!

After I got over the initial "fever and chills" stage of my ailment, I gained the motivation to pick up a book by the founder of YWAM, Loren Cunningham. It's called, "Making Jesus Lord" and it spoke a lot about giving up your rights. As an American, this seems very unnatural. My culture has taught me that I have inherent rights and they must be protected at all costs. In fact, I would go as far as saying most Americans are obsessed with their individual rights. While it is true that I do have basic, God-given rights, clinging to these rights can actually really limit God from working. There were several really good points:

1) When I surrender my personal rights to the Lord, for His sake and the sake of the gospel, I discover the secret of inheriting the whole world for Him. 

2) We have to be willing to give up the money God blesses us with if we want to spread the gospel. God has actually equipped Christians with the resources necessary to fully evangelize every single person in the world who has never heard about Jesus. Just reflect for a moment on the following facts: 

·                     It would take each Christian only one dollar to place a Bible in every home on earth.

·                     There are 2,000 unreached ethno-linguistic groups in the world. If only 40 million Christians gave one dollar a year, we could support two missionaries for each of these groups. 

·                     There are 16 million refugees in the world, according to most sources. To feed every one of those refugees, it would only cost the 1.6 billion who call themselves Christians one penny a day. 

3) We have to be willing to give up our right to marriage and a family. Jesus said, "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:37) 

4) We have to give up our right to being comfortable. I may not always have the best clothes, the most comfortable place to sleep, or the foods I enjoy the most, but God will provide my basic needs. I need to continue to praise him for whatever He chooses to bless me with. 

Jesus said, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it" Mark 18: 34,35. 

If there is anyone in history who knew how to lay down his rights, it was Jesus....he gave it all, even his own life!

When I look at my own life, I can see how God is asking me to give up all the above. I remember right before I left for YWAM, God seemed to be speaking a very strong message to me. He kept bringing up John chapter 15, which speaks about abiding in God in order to bear good fruit. Within a window of a few days, this message spoke so loudly to me! It was the topic of a bible study that week, I kept reading it in my bible (not deliberately either!), and then it came in a chocolate wrapper…..you know those dove chocolates that have a message on the inside of the wrapper? Well, I just so happened to open up one that said the following: “let your light shine-the world is watching”. The even crazier part is that this was quoted from someone named Darla from Antioch, TN. Think that is pretty crazy? Yeah, I thought so too. God even can speak through something like chocolate, go figure!

At the time, I really didn’t know what all this meant. Was I not bearing good fruit? Was God saying I was a branch that would be cut off and thrown into the fire? I really didn’t think so. I felt that this was a message I would be able to fully understand later on. God has a way of telling me something ahead of time that doesn’t really have clarity until later. This was one of those messages.

After the first few weeks here in YWAM Mazatlan, I understood. I am going through an intense pruning process…..Jesus has been asking me to give up my rights! In John chapter 15: 1-2 it says, “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more”. God has been asking me to give it all up to Him so that I can bear fruit for his kingdom. Until I fully surrender my rights, there will be things in my life that are getting in the way of God. I have to be willing to give, surrender, sacrifice, and bow before his throne over and over and over….I desire for His glory to shine brightly through my life and for nothing to get in the way of that. The pruning process is not easy. In fact, it is very very painful. Yet, I know God is a good God! He will bless me back tremendously.

I recently had a staff member pray for me. She really encouraged me because she said Jesus sees how I keep trading in all my silver….and he gets super excited because He can now give me the gold he has yearning to hand over to me! It all comes down to this: making Jesus Lord is about serving Him first, casting down my idols, and giving up my rights in order to put all the glory back on Him. It is then when I will witness how much fruit comes out of that and how God’s kingdom can shake nations through my life!!! I don’t know about you, but that is super exciting to me. Praise God!!!!!!!!

Playing with the little ones.....

Wow, I can't believe it has already been about two weeks since my last post...I have been learning some amazing things in my classes about the character of God, as well as what he calls me to live up to as his disciple. It is both challenging and convicting at the same time...I am also learning about the dynamics of spiritual warfare. I have been feeling personally attacked, but God is good! He is carrying me through it and teaching me about how to be a true warrior of His.

So our team has been going out to this village called the Colonia on Wednesdays. We play Mexican "football", with the children there and then give them a brief message about God. Our team desires to establish relationships with them by going there on a weekly basis and showing them who God is through our actions. I have a lot of fun playing with those kids! It gets pretty competitive kicking the soccer around. I usually play defense and try my best to not accidentally kick the ball towards my own team's gulley....they usually don't appreciate that too much.

Last Saturday, our team went out to the Colonia to help make a birthday meal for this older woman's husband. I had the opportunity to make home-made tortillas. To my surprise, the woman we were helping had us pinch the top layer of the tortilla right after it was taken off the stove...which gave the tortilla a more "decorated" look. It was quite amusing! My classmates would pinch a few times, then shake their hands and maybe scream a little from the burn, only to continue shortly after the sensation subsided. I believe it took about three to four sessions of pinching, shaking, and screaming to complete just one tortilla! It was awesome.....
My favorite part of the day was playing with four little girls and one little boy. Although I didn't understand very much Spanish, I was still able to connect with them through physical play. They would peep around the corner, smiling sheepishly at me....and I would pretend to not notice at first, only to dash at them suddenly with full force. The reaction of squeals and laughter was addicting to me. Some of them would allow me to catch them because they knew what was coming next....lots of swinging, twirling, and tickling. It was awesome!!! I was even able to communicate with them in very simple Spanish terms. I have found that practicing with children is a great way to learn the language, since they tend to speak in simpler phrases.

Our team will be going back on Wednesday to help build a room for the family...I know our desire is to bless the family, but honestly, I feel like I am the one being blessed most of the time. To know I did something to make a difference in someone's life in a personal way, such as building a room for them, blesses me back tremendously. It's pretty cool how God designed us to be in relationships with others in ways that bless both parties as a gift is being given. I really love that.... 

Hearing, listening, and obeying

So in case you didn't know, outreach in YWAM Mazatlan is not like other bases because the school has a few different options. The best part is that the people on staff here don't tell the students what the options are until after we get here because we are supposed to pray about it, hear from God, and then obey. Well, the mystery is now over. I know exactly where I am going....let me tell you about the answer I got.

I went up to my favorite spot here on the base-the rooftop. As I sat down to pray, I gazed out at one of God's most beautiful creations-the ocean. I have always been attracted to the ocean ever since I was a little girl. I know God told me to come here to YWAM Mazatlan partly because the beach is right across the street. Plus, I don't have to be afraid to go in because sharks are rare (which happens to be one of my biggest fears-Yikes!) 

I slowly closed my eyes and asked God to speak to me about where he wanted me to go for outreach. As I did so, his reply was very quick and very clear...and exactly what I didn't want to hear. What I expected to hear were the words "Nicaragua" or "Costa Rica". Instead, I got "Mexico City, Mexico City, Mexico City!!!" I opened my eyes and looked around distractedly. "Maybe that was me. I am trying to NOT go there. Maybe I was trying so hard not to think that in my head that I automatically thought it anyways." After a few more distracted moments, I closed my eyes. "Okay God, lets try it again....please just say Costa Rica and we can be done" But it was no use. "Mexico City, Mexico City, Mexico City!!!" 

I could feel myself resisting. I really wanted to get farther than Mexico, to go somewhere exciting and new. This is the third time I have been to Mexico in my life and it's the only foreign country I have EVER been to. And then God started speaking again. There was a very wise teaching this last week about how my generation tends to love staying on the mountaintop. In other words, we LOVE being in a spot that gives us that really exhilarating feeling (whether it's a physical location or spiritual experience), but we tend to resist the valleys. The thing is, the suffering and hurting people are mostly in the valleys, where Jesus is needed the most! So when I was praying that day on the rooftop, high enough to see the city and overlook the ocean, God was calling me to come down in more than one way. First, I had to set aside my pride of wanting to be able to tell people I had traveled all throughout Central America. Secondly, I had to be willing to surrender my burning desire to be on the mountaintop and instead, go to the valley. God spoke the following: "You know that mountaintop you like to be on Darla? Well, Central America is a mountaintop to you. I am calling you to the valley, which doesn't look as attractive to you. But you know what? It is one of the most densely populated cities in the world. That is where I want you. Trust me. I know what I am doing" 

It was hard to hear this, but I was reminded of a verse I really love from Isaiah 55: 8-9:

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.

How could I question the almighty God? He had made his voice clear to me. The thought that comes to my mind is that a dense population means there will be a lot of disease and ailments I could pray for. So perhaps God wants to give me lots of opportunities for that! Guess I will find out.

So I am going somewhere that I would have never chosen on my own accord, but I know it will be good. By the way, have been meaning to post some pictures. I will probably have some up in a few days when I get a chance. Keep following and feel free to ask questions. Blessings friends!