It has already been two months since my last blog and I have since moved to Redding, California to get involved with Bethel Church and see what God wants me to do here. Let me tell you the story of how I ended up here....
After I left Long Beach one year ago and moved back to Grass Valley (where I grew up), I started attending a local home church on Monday nights. It was here that I first heard about Bethel. One night, a woman who is strongly gifted in prophesy told me severeral significant things. One of them was that I should go check out Bethel church because I have a lot of friends up there. At the time, I had never even heard about Bethel Church, but it sparked my curiousity. I later found out that miracles, signs, and wonders happen there quite often. While I was going through YWAM, I got three confirmations from God that has led me to where I am today.....
I was talking to my Creator about my nursing career, what he wanted to do with that, and if I was actually supposed to be doing this at all. I really enjoy talking to God by writing down the conversation in my journal-that way, I can go back and remember things that were said and it tends to flow really well. It was during one of these dialogues that He spoke to me about going to Bethel. Instead of answering my question about my career, He told me this: "You have a compassion for people that I put inside of you in order to heal people. I want you to operate in a healing that is driven by love. You cannot operate in any gift I give to you if love is not the driving force behind your actions......I want you to go to Bethel. This is where you will discover the gifts I have for you".
The second time I got confirmation was after my friends prayed for me one morning regarding this very thing. During that entire day, I had music playing in my head nonstop-it was really clear and consistent! Even during class, I kept hearing it in the background. What exactly is the significance of this? The music I heard was entirely from a band called Jesus Culture. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this band, it actually originated from Bethel Church and is now igniting revival all around the world.
The very last word of confirmation I received was after God told me to keep trusting Him and having faith in his plans for me. I had recently been questioning going to Bethel because I couldn't see how it would work. After getting the previous two words of confirmation, I actually applied to the school of ministry that they offer here at Bethel. Since the outreach part of YWAM was very dynamic, it was not possible to set up an interview over Skype until after I got back home. Most of the spots in the school had already been filled, which left me doubting about even going at all. I remember sitting on top of the roof in Mexico City early in the morning to have my quiet time with the Lord when he began to speak to me about this doubt of mine: "Darla, you need to trust me. You think that just because it looks like you may not get accepted into the school, that I don't want you there. You need to just go." "Okay God. I am sorry for my lack of trust-I will go, whether or not I get into the school. Just keep on bringing confirmation." After praying this, I opened up my Bible to Genesis and began to flip around. Something familiar then flashed before my eyes-the word "Bethel" appeared in Genesis chapter 35! As I read the very first verse, I knew God was speaking directly to me: "Then God said to Jacob, 'Get ready and move to Bethel and settle there. Build an altar there to the God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother, Esau".
It was at this moment that full conviction came to me about what I needed to do. God had said enough and had made Himself very clear. I have now been here for about two months. God has totally been providing all of my financial needs, even though I don't have a job yet! It is really incredible to see what an amazing provider He is when I step out and do what He calls me to, even when it feels like I am walking into the dark and I can't see the solution.....
Speaking of the solution, that is a huge lesson I think God is teaching me about right now. I am in a waiting period regarding a few different things in my life, one of them being for God to open up my nursing career again. I didn't end up getting into the school here at Bethel. The day before I found this out, I was actually hoping I didn't get in because I also felt God telling me that He would resurrect my nursing career. I have had to lay my desire to be a nurse down at the foot of the cross so that He can turn the ashes into beauty. Its been a long process, but it is so good! I believe that God wants me to step back into my career for a period of time, based on a few different times He has spoken to me. One was actually in a dream. In the dream, I was looking around frantically for a job and was beginning to feel really anxious. Then God told me to sit down and wait, that everything was taken care of and that all I needed to do was rest in his presence. After sitting for a while, the phone rang and I was offered a job right away. The waiting period of this dream is actually reality for me right now. I have been knocking on some doors and gettting a lot of favor...but so far, God has been closing ALL of them. I am learning to rest in his presence and wait on Him during this time. I don't see the job right now, but I know that it is there. God has something for me far beyond what I could possibly imagine. I won't lie-there have been moments of doubt, worry, burden and disappointment. But it is in those moments when I have a choice. I could choose to allow those moments to overwhelm me.....or I can choose to believe in what God has shown me. God is altogether good and loving, so there is no reason for me to worry about any of it. If its not what I think it will look like, it will only be better because that is the God I serve and know!
I remember a phrase I heard during class in YWAM that I have learned to take to heart and really live out: "If you go tell a mountain to move and it doesn't budge, go get a bucket, fill it up with dirt, and move one pile of dirt at a time before God does the rest".
So the solution is not in my problem (not being employed). Rather, the solution is in Jesus, resting in him, trusting that he will do what he has told me he will do, and simply living in complete, wholehearted surrender to his direction.
I just want to encourage any of you who may feel like God is taking a long time to show up and fulfill his promises. Keep your eyes so focused on him that all of your problems and waiting get completely consumed by the greatness of who He is. He has got you for today and wants you to focus on what is in front of you in the next five minutes, and then the next five minutes, and then the next five minutes, and then the next five minutes, and the next five minutes, ........
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